Many of us have friends and relatives who like to offer their advice on absolutely everything from home buying and child rearing to cell phones and wedding favors – without being asked. It’s these people who have caused us to naturally tune out anyone who gives us counsel, even if it’s solicited and even if it’s good.
I’ve spent my entire career giving advice to people. In my home field of public relations, clients pay us to tell them the best approach for developing strong relationships with their constituents. A few years ago, a large government agency forked over several hundred thousand dollars for my team to develop a plan to revitalize the agency’s online resources so that the public could better take advantage of them.
The plan represented the best creative thinking and technological advances available, but the agency never did anything with it (hooray for tax dollars!). This really shouldn’t have mattered to me, since I got paid regardless, but it did. I was irritated by the fact that the agency deliberately sought our counsel and then didn’t listen to us.
I feel the same way in my role as a mentor to my current employees and young professionals I meet through my speaking gigs. When I spend an hour or two talking someone through a problem they’ve asked for my help on, and they make no effort to implement my suggestions, a part of me feels like I’ve wasted my time. I wonder why the person bothered to ask me when they fully intended to proceed as they originally planned.
It’s possible that I’m just oversensitive. But if you have a mentor or a manager you trust, I’d recommend trying to be respectful of their expertise and years of experience and thinking twice before you go do your own thing anyhow. After all, there’s a reason you asked them in the first place, and you’ll be more likely to get solid and valuable feedback in the future if they know it’s going to be put to good use.
